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(Oh and before anyone says anything. This transcript is copypasta from the actual file the speech engine used, the spelling mistakes are deliberate.)Transcript: Fasten your seat belts, and get ready for battletoads!That's right, I said battletoads, I'll say it again, battletoads.This is a blast from the past as one of the best games ever for the Nintendo Classic comes back on the nintendo wee in full 3D!Already hailed as the best game off all time by numerous reviewers and it's not even out yet!Just take a look at this screenshot!Holy shit you can't miss out on battletoads! Are you psyched yet!? No? Then listen to one of our fancy talking customers!That guys happier then a pig in shit! You have to preorder today because battletoads will be flying off the shelves.Still hesitent because it might be too hard, too shitty or there won't be cake!?Turn that frown upside down because we have a fair game policy! That's right, we support totally fair gaming! Don't believe us! Listen to another one of our fancy talking customers!Holy shit that guy was intense! Ask our operators for details about our fair game policy! Preorder now now now. This game is so intense that you're not going to feel like a slobbering gamer sitting on their mom's couch. NO WAY, you're going to feel like a hacker on steroids! yes a hacker on steroids!Why haven't you pre-ordered yet!But wait, there's more! Is your wee mote always slipping out of your hand and landing in castor oil or petrolium jelly. If you order now you'll get a free wee strap. That's right, never clean that gooey shit off again!You get a a free wee strap! This is a limited time offer only.So stop sitting around and pre-order your copy of the game of the century, battletoads!Visit battletoads pre-order dot com for more information!This message has been brought to you by Operation Battletoad Earth, Fair Game Stop! Sponsored by the Marcab Confederacy, as part of our tax season special drop by one of our outer ring tax offices and recieve two tickets for the rocket car championchip finals. The Marcab Confederacy, the best tax collectors this side of Marcab! Seriously!PREORDER NOW!!!Moar information:www.battletoadspreorder.comRelated:www.enturbulation.orgwww.whyweprotest.org